When Reading Minds Goes Too Far

When Overthinking Others’ Thoughts Becomes a Pattern

For carers supporting someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), the emotional landscape is often dominated by a sense of walking on eggshells. At the heart of many conflicts lies one recurring theme: misinterpreting the intentions of others. In psychological terms, this tendency is called “hypermentalizing”, that is the over-attributing thoughts, feelings, and motives to other people without enough evidence.

It’s like watching your loved one spiral from “She didn’t answer my call” to “She must hate me” in seconds. For years, this kind of social misreading has been treated as a central feature of BPD. But a new, landmark meta-analysis suggests something far more complex and far more relevant to every carer trying to make sense of emotional outbursts, miscommunications, and fractured relationships.

The Study That Shifted the Ground

A team of researchers led by Veronica McLaren and colleagues reviewed 36 studies involving over 4,000 participants to investigate whether hypermentalizing is specific to BPD or more generally associated with psychological distress. The results are striking: while there is a strong link between hypermentalizing and BPD, this link is no stronger than the one between hypermentalizing and other disorders such as ADHD, schizophrenia, autism spectrum conditions, and depression.

In numbers: the average correlation between hypermentalizing and BPD was 0.26. For other disorders, it was 0.24. Statistically, the difference simply wasn’t significant. In other words, the assumption that hypermentalizing is unique to BPD no longer holds.

Why That Matters for Carers

This might sound like a technical distinction, but it has powerful implications for the carers, parents, and partners who support someone with BPD.

First, it means the mental habits you may see (jumping to conclusions, assuming others are against them, reading rejection into neutral interactions) aren’t unique to your loved one. They’re patterns we see across many mental health challenges, especially when people are in emotional pain or under stress.

Second, it challenges the idea that these patterns are “manipulative” or “just BPD.” Instead, hypermentalizing emerges as a symptom of distress, not a personality defect. That perspective opens up the possibility for more compassionate, skill-based responses and that’s where support like BPD UK’s comes in.

Emotional Complexity, Not Cognitive Failure

The study helps reinforce an emerging view in psychological science: most people with BPD don’t lack empathy or insight. They’re not failing to read others. In fact, they may be overdoing it. they are overthinking, over-feeling, and over-responding in ways that make even minor interactions feel dangerous or overwhelming.

This is especially true in emotionally charged situations. When someone with BPD is in distress, their ability to interpret others’ thoughts and motives becomes flooded. Rather than shutting down (as in hypomentalizing), they may become hypervigilant, reading too much into tone, expression, or timing.

The result is a cascade of assumptions that feel entirely real to them but are often rooted in fear, not fact. As carers, we often find ourselves on the receiving end of this. We are misunderstood, accused, or pushed away for reasons that make little sense from the outside.

A Shift in Treatment and Support Models

One of the most important takeaways from this study is that interventions aimed at improving mentalizing (like Mentalization-Based Treatment) may not need to be reserved solely for BPD. These approaches could have wider applications across mental health conditions, especially where interpersonal sensitivity is high.

For carers, this is encouraging. It means learning the language of mentalizing isn’t just helpful for “managing BPD” but for improving relationships across the board. At BPD UK, our peer-led learning models incorporate mentalization theory to help carers stay grounded when conversations spiral or assumptions take over.

Culture, Emotion, and the Limitations of Current Measures

The researchers also highlighted a key limitation of the studies they reviewed: most used the Movie for the Assessment of Social Cognition (MASC), which relies on a film of white European characters interacting over dinner. While useful, this test lacks emotional relevance and cultural diversity. It doesn’t measure how people hypermentalize in real life, especially in the emotionally charged, culturally varied, attachment-based contexts that often define BPD crises.

That means the full extent of hypermentalizing in BPD or how it differs from other disorders in real-world settings may still be under-explored. For carers, this reinforces a familiar truth: what happens in clinics or labs doesn’t always reflect what happens at 2 a.m. during a crisis call, or in the silence after a fight.

So What Can We Do With This Insight?

This study doesn’t dismiss the unique challenges of BPD. Instead, it reframes them within a broader pattern—one that includes emotional sensitivity, relational trauma, and difficulty tolerating ambiguity. That’s not about diagnosis; it’s about struggle. And as carers, it points us toward the kinds of support that matter most.

We can’t prevent hypermentalizing. But we can learn to spot it, name it gently, and not get swept up in its emotional logic. We can say, “Maybe that’s just a story your brain is telling right now,” and hold space for other possibilities.

At BPD UK, our tools are designed for exactly these moments. Whether through structured online learning, group support, or the always-on BPD Coach, our aim is simple: to help you respond not with fear or frustration, but with clarity, curiosity, and care.

Because when you understand how the mind leaps to conclusions, you’re better equipped to stay grounded and to guide your loved one back to shore.

Read the full study here