Staying Healthy

Staying Healthy with BPD: What Helps and Why It Matters

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can make everyday life feel like a rollercoaster. Emotions are intense. Relationships can be difficult. You may feel empty, lost, or unsure who you really are. But staying healthy — mentally and physically — is possible, even if it feels like a struggle. It doesn’t happen all at once. It happens through small daily choices that add up over time.

This guide is based on what we know from psychological research and from people living with BPD. It focuses on five areas that make a real difference: routine, eating and sleeping, movement, connection, and self-kindness.

1. Create a Daily Routine (Even a Simple One)

People with BPD often experience extreme shifts in emotion and behaviour. One way to reduce this intensity is by building a predictable daily structure. Studies show that a regular routine helps reduce emotional instability, self-harm, and impulsive behaviour — especially when the day includes some calm, grounding activities.

You don’t need a strict schedule. Even basic structure — like waking up at the same time, brushing your teeth, or eating lunch — can send a message to your brain that things are safe and manageable.

What helps:

  • Set a regular wake-up time (even if you go to bed late).

  • Eat meals at the same times daily.

  • Include one grounding activity, like a walk, a shower, or journaling.

  • Use alarms or visual lists to remind yourself what to do next.

Example:
Alex, who has BPD, starts each day by making their bed and feeding their cat. These two simple tasks help them feel less chaotic and give their morning a calm rhythm.

2. Support Your Body: Food, Sleep, and Blood Sugar

Many people with BPD report disrupted eating and sleeping habits. Some struggle with eating disorders. Others may not notice hunger or may stay up all night when emotions spike. But when your body is tired, hungry, or running on sugar crashes, your emotional regulation gets worse — and this is backed by research.

In one study, people with BPD reported higher emotional sensitivity and more intense mood swings when they were physically run down.

What helps:

  • Eat regularly — ideally every 4–5 hours — even if it’s small.

  • Include protein and slow carbs (e.g., oats, brown bread, peanut butter) to avoid crashes.

  • Keep bedtime and wake time consistent, even on weekends.

  • Avoid screens an hour before bed if possible.

Example:
After skipping meals, Jamie often noticed stronger feelings of anger and sadness. A therapist helped him build a habit of having toast or yogurt every morning, which made a noticeable difference in his mood by midday.

3. Move Your Body — Not to Burn Calories, but to Feel Grounded

Exercise is one of the most researched tools for improving mental health. But for people with BPD, it isn’t about hitting the gym. It’s about grounding the body and releasing stress in a safe, physical way. Movement also supports sleep and reduces anxiety — both of which help with BPD symptoms like emotional instability and rumination.

One study found that people with BPD who engaged in regular physical activity reported fewer urges to self-harm and better emotional balance.

What helps:

  • Start small — a 10-minute walk, dancing in your room, or stretching in bed.

  • Pick activities that feel good — not punishing.

  • Try something rhythmic (like walking or swimming), which calms the nervous system.

Example:
Sophie goes for a short walk around her block after lunch. She listens to calming music and notices how her feet feel hitting the ground. This helps her feel more “in her body” when thoughts start to spiral.

4. Stay Connected — Even When You Want to Hide

BPD can make relationships feel terrifying. You might fear being abandoned or feel like no one understands you. But isolation makes things worse. Connection — even small, safe moments of it — helps reduce emotional pain.

People with BPD benefit from stable, non-judgmental relationships, whether with friends, family, support workers, or pets. Research on Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) shows that the more connected and accepted people feel, the better they manage symptoms.

What helps:

  • Talk to someone you trust once a day, even for 5 minutes.

  • Let people know when you need space — and when you’d like company.

  • Use online peer groups or helplines if in-person contact feels hard.

Example:
When Riya feels overwhelmed, she texts her friend: “Can you check in on me later today?” This helps her feel less alone without needing to explain everything.

5. Be Kind to Yourself — Especially When You Feel You Don’t Deserve It

One of the hardest parts of BPD is the inner critic — the voice that says you’re a failure, unlovable, or broken. But shame makes recovery harder. Research shows that self-compassion (treating yourself with the same kindness you’d give a friend) helps reduce depression, anxiety, and self-harming behaviour in BPD.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your problems. It means not punishing yourself for having them.

What helps:

  • Speak to yourself in a gentle tone — out loud or in writing.

  • Write down what you’d say to a friend going through what you are.

  • Make a list of things that soothe you — and do one each day.

Example:
When Lina messes up at work, her first thought is “I’m a disaster.” But she’s learning to say: “I made a mistake. I’m allowed to try again.”

In Summary

Staying healthy with BPD isn’t about fixing everything overnight. It’s about building small routines, supporting your body, staying connected, and learning to be on your own side — even when you feel broken.

These things don’t cure BPD, but they make it easier to live with. Over time, many people with BPD report feeling more stable, more hopeful, and more in control of their lives. You deserve that too.

And if today was hard, tomorrow is still yours to shape.